Armageddon

I just watched Armageddon on a whim... There are some old movies that don't actually age.. Shawshank Redemption is a movie that comes to mind that came out during the same era.

The scene with Bruce Willis in the end when he sacrifices himself to safe the planet is one of the great scenes in movie history... but it makes you think about life & death & the wonderment that is wrapped around both. There are SO many beautiful things in the universe. One of the most awe-inspiring scenes I've ever scene is the earth rise footage. To go up in space & look down at the world... anomaly

With only 19 years under my belt death seams more like an anomaly. I've only truly experience death once, when Uncle Brian passed early this year. The business of school helped me "coupe" with the loss, but earlier this week I was going through pictures on my computer & came across a batch of him with my brother & sister. It caught me off guard. Emotions i thought i buried came rushing out & tears started streaming down my face. Even writing about the experience makes my eyes water. Looking back I don't think I had time to sort things out.. so that baggage is still hanging over my head... It's scary thinking about growing older, not because of the aging process but because you are bound to run into death again.. blaah.

failed post

I just wrote a long posting about not having power & how being disconnected from the world is good every now & then.. But I clicked the back button on my phone & went to a different page without sending. Sometimes I hate technology.

Beginnings..

I've always been against blogs. Steven's always been really into them & I never saw the purpose, But..

I've been restless since school ended & I feel as if typing out what's in my head will bring some form of clarity to the jumbled mess up there.

I was laying in my bed thinking about how stupid it is for me to still be up when I have to do calc in the morning when the the chronicles of Narnia popped into my head, in specific the last battle. The Pevensie family has grown much older since their journey through the wardrobe & they're all together on a train (I don't remember their destination). And throughout the book we're periodically taken back to the conversation they're all having on the train about Narnia & their long ago adventures. Susan the older sister somehow convinced herself in her growing up that the world of Narnia that she so vividly experienced was just a fairy tale land they made up when they were kids. In the end, the train crashes & the Pevensie's (minus Susan) join with Aslan once more, this time for eternity.

There is an obvious parallel between this story & the end of times, but what has bothered me in this is the likeness I have with Susan. God & spirituality are not & have not been priority in my life for several weeks now. I haven't gone as far as to convince myself that there is no such thing as God, but my indifference is threatening to totally disrupt the Rock I've been building my life on since my troubles senior year of high school. Funny how I know the problem & do nothing towards finding a solution..