So.. I was at colts training camp today. It wasn't as exciting as I'd imagined.. they weren't playing scrimiges or playing flag ball or even running through any plays. They walked through a bunch of plays. Don't get me wrong, I love those guys & I enjoyed being close to my favorite sports team. That being said, I was dissapointed upuntil the end of practice. When all the players gathered in the center I realized that it was time to get up. I Sarah (new friend)'s camera & ran down the steps of the stadium bleachers to the railway where the players would pass after the huddle. I pushed through lots of overly energetic adults (I suppose someone may say the same about me) & made my way to the front of one of the sections along the walk way. I quickly realized that the front was occupided prodominantly by children. There parents must have realized that their children being kids have a cute factor would be more sucessful then they in the pursuit for autographs..
Dallas Clark came by & started signing autographs. I started sticking out my jersey to get signed but he didn't glance my way with all the little hands shoving things in his face. The over energetic adults I mentioned earlier started closing in & squishing all of us up front. The cute kids started turing into not so cute pancakes. In realizing this I decided to give up on Clark, take a couple pictures & then start pushing back so that the kids around me wouldn't be squashed or trampled on. When Clark left I was peeved. I know I was the one who stoped trying to get the autograph, but still. You'd think he'd spot the one person infront of him that wasn't clawing for everything he was worth. I know my logic is flawed & I probably wasn't helping the kids with the best intentions but oh well.. it happens..
Anyways..
After several minutes Manning came out. He started walking along the barrier signing autographs & the peopel behind us went 10x crazier then before. This time however I decided to hold my ground. - During the lul I had aquired a Colts poster from a gentlemen who had gotten Dallas' signiture. He said they were free & I jumped on it. I had my jersey but it was hot & I was sweaty aka It needed to be washed. - When peyton started getting closer to me a guy shoved his way infront of me. I could have pushed him out but I'm not that barbaric so I let it slide. When manning was infront of us he signed the jersey of the guy who cut me & ignored my poster! I was SO pissed. God throws good looks though. The guy was like, I got you & took my poster out of my hand & stuck it out for manning. I couldn't see what was going on but after a few minutes he brought it in & manning left. I took the poster & started walking towards the car & my peoples dejected. I was glad I went to camp but I missed TWO opportunities to get signitures from some of my favorite atheletes. To have them at arms length & get boo'd.. Let me tell you, it doesn't do wonders for the ego. When I got closer to the car I looked down at the one token I had from training camp, the poster. Low & behold it was AUTOGRAPH!!! I must have missed it him doing it & just assumed that I had failed. My mood did a quick 180 U-turn & I suddenly went from sullen to high on cloud 9. Ultimate win. =D
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Life in general.
I can't believe school is starting up agan SO soon. Summer flew by & it was the longest one I've ever had. It's n0t just summer that's flying by though. I've been thinking about "the future".. more specifically my future & I realized something. My life is soley mine now. I know that sounds strange but hear me out. In 3 or so years I'll be graduating from college. I don't live in the dorm but that doesn't change the fact that I don't see my family . ( This year was the first family trip I've been on in a while because of an assortent of school & choir functions. ) Because of this I consider myself a pseudo-dorm resident. After I graduate college I'll be going to med school. After med school, residency, after residency (who knows how long that will take since I hae no idea.. well, little Idea what kind of Md I want to be) I'll be an attending... maybe start my own practice... WHO KNOWS! & in the midst of all that Academic Whoplah there's the wify to consider... & even... Kids of my OWN?! Know yes, a lot of what I just said is far ahead of me. But these are all legit questions for me to ponder about because everything I do now directly affects what my life will be like 10 years from now. What happened to school ending at 3:15 with an hour or two Tops of homework & infinite chilling time. I don't think it's irrisponsible to miss your old Care-free self as long as you don't lose site of the reality in which you live in.
What does all this translate into?.. Something your current self always has on your past is that you know more about yourself (hopefully), weaknesses & all. One of great flaws is that I have a tendancy to overestimate myself or rather underestimate how much I love people. The schedule I posted before.. REDICULOUS! I'm a decent students but I love people to much to shun everyone for the sake of straight A's. What did this mean I had to do.. cut back. I often overload myself unnecissarily so steping back & telling myself, hey, this is OD was a big thing for me. My current & final class schedule is G. Chem, FB, Materialism, Scripture & the homestudy calc. Letting go of Genetics & medical terminology made it possible for me to have an assemblance of a social life & gave me more possible time for my other classes. Back in the day (like last school year) I never would have stopped & reasoned with myself but I'm realizing that part of growing up & sucessfully achiving your goals is growing from all the crap you put yourself through.
How does this all tie together. Our lives go by So fast which makes every moment we have on this earth a crutial one. Continual growth is necissary if one is to survive but growth doesn't replace enjoyment. Sometimes you need to allow yourself some leway to do something you love even if it costs you later. SO, all my worrying about my future is warrented but I shouldn't let that over shadow the process of actually walking through life.
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Key - Stay in the present.
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